Thursday, March 6, 2008

Bats in my Belfry

Sadly, I'm not speaking figuratively (well, that's arguable...)

Our cats "found" a bat this morning. (I'm using the word "found" in the sense that they helped it from this life, to the next, as cats like to do.)

So ok. A case of the eebie-jeebies for a few hours right? Right.

Until....this afternoon, when I couldn't shake the feeling that a bat in your basement, in March, just didn't seem like a good idea. Right? Well, according to Google, right again!

Now, using Google, you'll find 1,000 websites that say Yes! You should in fact have the bat tested for rabies. Wonderful! Thank you Google!

Unfortunately, what Google can't tell you is you'll spend an hour and a half, calling every county/city/regional office you can think of that's IN ANY WAY related to animals, pest control, and infectious diseases, and STILL not know where to send the damn thing.

I actually have....8 phone numbers, not including transfers, and menu options, that left me with no answers. ...and a bad case "oh my gosh! what just touched my foot???"

not good.

FINALLY, I spoke to a wonderful woman, on a last ditch phone number, who couldn't answer my question, but actually took my information, and called me back with my answer. I could have kissed her. ...Or at the very least, high-fived her.

So she starts "Ok, you'll have to overnight the bat..."

wait, what? overnight? a box? like...through the mail? you can do that? Wouldn't you normally be arrested for something like that? She continues her instruction: "You'll want to double bag it, put it in a box with your contact information, and send that off to us - wait - the bat is dead right? We won't take live ones."

**Excuse me while I point out the obvious, ASSUMING the bat was alive - even so - after I execute the double bag, tightly sealed box, and 8+ hours transit time....I'm pretty sure I could guarantee you a dead bat. If a bat survived an oxygen deprived box for 8 hours, we've got bigger problems than rabies tests.**

But ok, ship the bat, double bagged, in a box, to this lab. No problem! I'm on it!

...mmmwell, 'I'm on it' in the sense that "I've written down all pertinent information, and I'm anxiously awaiting my husband from his dental appointment, at which point I'll instruct him on the proper way to ship a dead bat". That sounds more like it. I'm not touching it.

Only, it occurs to said husband, that the lab is only 40 minutes from us "Why don't I just DRIVE it down?" At which point I gave him the "you kinda worry me" look. But what can I say, he likes road trips, and as he pointed out, it will probably cost the same in gas, as it will to overnight the bat, so ok, have it your way. Go for it. Road trip dudes! ...creepy weird road trip, but hey, it made him happy. So be it.

Just keep it away from me.

So....dear friends. I'm now anxiously awaiting a rabies test result. Oh, let's pray its negative.

And I'm also awaiting my visit on Tuesday from "bat man". (Ok, I'm not actually sure of his name, but he deals with wildlife, and bat proofs homes, and the name - though started off on accident - is fitting, and shall remain as such)
But, the more I got to thinking, the more I thought it was highly unusual to find a bat in our house in March. August when windows are open and they're out and about? Not so alarming. March? "s**t, I bet we've got bats!!"
'Bat man' thought the same.


So 'bat man' will be over to inspect our house, and discuss the possibility of 'sealing' our home. I have a sneaking suspicion, we have unwanted guests, and I know where they are. So until Tuesday, I'll be wearing my hair up, constantly swatting at the back of my neck, and sleeping with the covers up to my neck. No....ears.

In the meantime, enjoy my paranoia, feel free to make lame bat jokes at my expense, and please resist the urge to throw small furry looking objects in my direction - lest I pee my pants.
Thank you.


Sandy said...

Holy BatsInYourBelfry, woman! No way! You say you think you know where they are? Can they get to where you are from where they are?? I'm freaking out over here on your behalf and I'm STATES away from the dang things. EEEEEK!!!!!!!

And now I'm going to have bat dreams. Thanks.

hiccupp said...

lol, sorry Sandy.

Yes, I have a suspicion I know where they might be, and I keep telling myself they can't get to me ;)

We have a little attic at the top of our stairs that we use, and I know they're not there. But I'd completely forgotten we have another attic above the second story. There's a 'door' in the ceiling in the hallway, and we've never so much as opened it let alone gone up there. :o

And thank you for freaking on my behalf, I appreciate it :)

Stephen Tvedten said...

How to kill pests without killing yourself or the earth......

There are about 50 to 60 million insect species on earth - we have named only about 1 million and there are only about 1 thousand pest species - already over 50% of these thousand pests are already resistant to our volatile, dangerous, synthetic pesticide POISONS. We accidentally lose about 25,000 to 100,000 species of insects, plants and animals every year due to "man's footprint". But, after poisoning the entire world and contaminating every living thing for over 60 years with these dangerous and ineffective pesticide POISONS we have not even controlled much less eliminated even one pest species and every year we use/misuse more and more pesticide POISONS to try to "keep up"! Even with all of this expensive and unnecessary pollution - we lose more and more crops and lives to these thousand pests every year.

We are losing the war against these thousand pests mainly because we insist on using only synthetic pesticide POISONS and fertilizers There has been a severe "knowledge drought" - a worldwide decline in agricultural R&D, especially in production research and safe, more effective pest control since the advent of synthetic pesticide POISONS and fertilizers. Today we are like lemmings running to the sea insisting that is the "right way". The greatest challenge facing humanity this century is the necessity for us to double our global food production with less land, less water, less nutrients, less science, frequent droughts, more and more contamination and ever-increasing pest damage.

National Poison Prevention Week, March 18-24,2007 was created to highlight the dangers of poisoning and how to prevent it. One study shows that about 70,000 children in the USA were involved in common household pesticide-related (acute) poisonings or exposures in 2004. At least two peer-reviewed studies have described associations between autism rates and pesticides (D'Amelio et al 2005; Roberts EM et al 2007 in EHP). It is estimated that 300,000 farm workers suffer acute pesticide poisoning each year just in the United States - No one is checking chronic contamination.
In order to try to help "stem the tide", I have just finished re-writing my IPM encyclopedia entitled: THE BEST CONTROL II, that contains over 2,800 safe and far more effective alternatives to pesticide POISONS. This latest copyrighted work is about 1,800 pages in length and is now being updated at my new website at .

This new website at has been basically updated; all we have left to update is Chapter 39 and to renumber the pages. All of these copyrighted items are free for you to read and/or download. There is simply no need to POISON yourself or your family or to have any pest problems.

Stephen L. Tvedten
2530 Hayes Street
Marne, Michigan 49435
"An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come." --Victor Hugo

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -- Martin Luther King Jr.

kalurah said...

Hi, Bat Girl! :)
Sorry. But your post had me rolling on the floor. I must say, as exciting as things can get around the whiletheyplay home(ie: the hubbie poisoning our whole house with vintage toilet drainer), they don't come close to this!
Yikes and YIKES!!!!
I pray that it comes back negative.
Keep us posted.

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