Yesterday marked 5 years since my mom died. The picture above was the night Zach was born, he was about 12 weeks old when she passed. I hesitated to post about it here, because it makes people feel awkward and like they have to say something comforting. So don't. :) Its just weird to think its been FIVE years. Sometimes it feels like it was forever ago, and other times I can't believe its been that long. Thanksgiving was always HER holiday. (Literally, I think she'd have drawn blood if anyone else tried to host!) So thanksgiving is its own reminder.
But this year it really occurred to me that she's not there. I do ok - I loved my mom, but we never exactly saw eye to eye - but seeing Zach grow up, and knowing he's missing 3 grandparents (Eddie's parents both passed away about a year and a half before my mom) is weird. And not that he's lacking. His papou and yaya pretty much adore him, and we're fortunate that even though they live 2,000 miles away, he's very aware of who they are and that they love him. We also are blessed to have aunties - both mine an Eddie's - who've taken on a 'grandma' role. They have his pictures on their fridge, and feed him junk food just because he asked, and have a stash of toys for him to play with. He does ok :)
Its just weird to think its been that long. And in case you're wondering, she had a form of cancer called glioblastoma multiforme. If you think "wow, that's a shi**y disease" (and it is) and want to throw a couple bucks into research you can do that here: donate. And if you don't, that's cool too. I know there are about 400 charities, groups and foundations I'd love to support if I had the funding and we can't do them all.
But this year it really occurred to me that she's not there. I do ok - I loved my mom, but we never exactly saw eye to eye - but seeing Zach grow up, and knowing he's missing 3 grandparents (Eddie's parents both passed away about a year and a half before my mom) is weird. And not that he's lacking. His papou and yaya pretty much adore him, and we're fortunate that even though they live 2,000 miles away, he's very aware of who they are and that they love him. We also are blessed to have aunties - both mine an Eddie's - who've taken on a 'grandma' role. They have his pictures on their fridge, and feed him junk food just because he asked, and have a stash of toys for him to play with. He does ok :)
Its just weird to think its been that long. And in case you're wondering, she had a form of cancer called glioblastoma multiforme. If you think "wow, that's a shi**y disease" (and it is) and want to throw a couple bucks into research you can do that here: donate. And if you don't, that's cool too. I know there are about 400 charities, groups and foundations I'd love to support if I had the funding and we can't do them all.
(A few off the top of my head: charity: water, Mother's Milk Bank of Iowa, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital)
I really have no end to this post...so I'm done. :)
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