Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Actual Conversation Earlier Today...

Tell me if I'm crazy...

My lovely cousin, Nicole, is getting married in August. She has asked me to be in the wedding (what can I say, my family makes foolish choices...) I am - of course - delighted and honored and plus, just super excited to have an occasion to wear something besides jeans. woot!

So last week, she and I and her mother went to look at bridesmaids dresses. The other girls live out of town, or were working so it was just me. Plus, I'm the hardest to dress, so it made sense to start with me. You know how something can look cute on a hanger or the 80lb silhouette of a mannequin ...but not on YOU?

That's my life. I'm too short, and weirdly proportioned, especially in dresses. But we did find some we really liked. We actually found one we loved - strapless, and more fitted through the bottom. Most of the rest were a-line and flared out - which isn't bad, but we were diggin' the straighter fit. There was also the issue of the v-neck, we liked the v-neck. We especially liked the "no strapless bra required" benefit of the v-neck. If only we could find both in one dress....

Oh...but we may have! So my cousin sends me a link this morning, v-neck, trimmer through the hip/thigh, and chocolate-y brown. Potentially ***IT***. Now, to see how it looks on!

She'd found it online, and I said I'd call the store and see if its available in store. I could possibly run down and try it on tonite. Fannnntastic!

So...I call store, conversation as follows:

*ring ring* (that's my best phone sound effect...)

"Dillard's something-something-sales-pitch-related-to-spring-if-I-didn't-say-it-so-fast-maybe-you'd-understand-it, how can I direct your call?"

me: I'd found a dress on your website, and was wondering if there's a way to see if you carry it in the store?

"I'll transfer you back to dresses"

*ring ring*

"dresses" (with all the enthusiasm as if she'd said "salamanders" or "liver sandwiches")

me: yeah, I'm looking at a dress on your website, and was wondering if there was anyway to find out if you carry it in the store?


at this point I stammered and stuttered, because I couldn't believe this was her answer?

uh, I...uhm...well...

"well we don't have everything that's on the website"

No DOY genius, that's why I'm calling to find out. I refrained.

me: well, I was just wondering if you had a way to look it up?


"well, if you tell me what it looks like, I can go look and see if we have something like that"

---at this point I was just making exaggerated "oh my word you're an IDIOT" faces into the phone, because I can't bring myself to be rude...even if warranted. Bad customer service is a BIT of a pet-peeve of the husband's, and I think its starting to wear off on me...

me: ok well, it says 'Betsy & Adam sleeveless satin dress' and its...a v-neck, knee length, dark chocolate-y brown...


"is there like a description? because you're not giving me very much to work with.."

right here is where I lost my 'polite' mode and started my
'OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME..."rant as I hung up. There was more, but I think I'd hung up before she heard the lesser desirable parts, which were pretty tame, but still....

Now, aside from giving her the brand name, material, and what *I* would consider a decent general description for AT LEAST a visual scan of the room, I'm not sure what else she wanted. Sassy? Breathable? Perfect for a night out on the town? I'm not an ad agency, I don't write the stuff, I just want you to tell me if you have a dress that looks SIMILAR to what I've told you.

here's the picture in case I've presented you with a visualization challenge.

I'm sure you were envisioning something ENTIRELY different, right?

Needless to say, I'll be heading to Dillard's later this evening to look for myself. Fingers crossed.


Corinne R. said...

You must have been the only one in the family that inherited the "niceness gene" 'cause I would have said words....should we send Auntie Niecie down there??

RockerJewlz said...

I'm cracking up...geezo man! Your ad agency sassy paragraph was the best.

See what happens when retail clerks only get minimum wage??? As if she didn't have a computer at the store where she could look up the item #???? grrrrrrr