Sunday, May 6, 2018


Let's see if I remember how to use this contraption.  I don't know if anyone blogs much anymore. Or if they do it's usually as a "social media influencer" and promoting some product or program. I'm just here to dump a bunch of feels on the internet and walk away for everyone to feel uncomfortable. Or relate. Or just judge. I dunno. LET'S FIND OUT FRIENDS. ;)

A very brief catch-up for anyone actually reading that doesn't know our daily life: Zach 13, Lilly 8, Callie 6. We made it fam! Out of the toddler years, and the diapers, and the tantrums, and life is smooth sailing!

PSSSYYYCH. got em! (Side note: had to google sike or psych. Internet says psych. Looks weird though. so SIIIKKKEEEE!) ONWARD.

Real life: Callie has delays. Significant delays. Speech delays, motor delays, cognitive delays. She's 6 but in so many ways she's 2. We've been in that non-stop-busy-toddler stage for 4 years. As I sit typing this she just came in to admire herself in the mirror after changing clothes for the 4th time today. I could tell her to stop, but she doesn't have a 'stop'. She is delightfully happy...MOST of the time. We have definitely hit some tantrums when she can't communicate what she wants or we tell her no, and she doesn't really grasp no. Or wait. More on all of that another time maybe. I'm already off track.

Today is Sunday, it's like 80 degrees, sunny, wonderfully welcome weather after a long, long, gray winter. Callie has been antsy the last few days now that it's nicer and we've been outside a bit and the girl wants to GO OUTSIDE. We should go to the park! And normally, the park would be perfect. You go, you hope some other kids are there to play with your kids and you sit down, and read a book, or play on your phone, throw a bag of goldfish crackers at them and absentmindedly yell "I'm watching!" every few minutes while they burn off energy before bed. Maybe break up a squabble about who's turn is next on the slide or who is swinging the highest. It's amazing!

Except for us it's stressful, and hard, and usually ends with carrying a 50lb kid screaming to the car.  You HOPE the park is empty, or at least only has older kids. Callie LOVES, but she loves HARD. Like tackling, choke hold, hair pulling, clothes pulling, SO EXCITED, hard. Other kids...don't love it so much. Huh, weird.

Older kids don't always get tackled for some reason, or at least they're sturdier. Anyone under 5 doesn't fare as well. And so at the park, we're hyper aware, and hovering. We're not over-protective, we've just learned. We're dreading the 3 year old who just walked over, and was sweet enough to share her stuffed animal. And now it's the ever present inner conversation of "How do I put Callie in kid terms? Do I? She's starting to look confused because she's asking questions and Callie is just smiling and shaking with excitement. Aw shit she's gonna---" and I reach out and grab her arm as fast as she shoots it forward to try to grab this poor kid and squeeze her arm and pull her into a bear hug. Sometimes I'm fast enough. But not always. And the not always usually ends in tears from a stranger's child, and me trying to apologize and give a meager "she gets too excited and doesn't understand" and wanting to crawl into a hole because as much as I can explain and apologize, I know the mama bear feeling of it being your kid that was hurt. "It's ok" but it's not ok.

And then I'm stuck between "I hope no one is there." and feeling bad because I want her to PLAY. And have fun. It's easier to stay home. But that's not fair to her. But it's not fair to kids who get grabbed by the hair by little girl who is just SO HAPPY TO BE NEAR THEM.

Keep your kid at home if she can't behave in public.
She has to be around other kids or she'll never learn how to act appropriately.
Explain her diagnosis.
We don't even have an OFFICIAL diagnosis.
We have a pending "intellectual disability".
But no one makes tshirts for that.
People just assume she's autistic.
And it's easier than correcting, or thinking we'd somehow be offended at that diagnosis.
But also don't label her. She's more than a diagnosis. Respect her as an individual.
Wait, did the psychologist ever send her report?
She said she'd send a copy and it would take two weeks.
That was more than a month ago.
Shit, did Iowa City get a copy?
I should check her mychart.
But that password has to be so secure I forget it every time and have to reset it.
I still need to take over that PT eval I was supposed to do in January.
What kind of parent slacks at this stuff like this?
It's ok, she's making progress. We'll get there.
She'd be so much further if I was more on top of things.
Celebrate her accomplishments.
But don't post too much online or it looks like you're making her a social sympathy piece.
The other kids are getting ignored.
The other kids have to help too much.
But it will make them more compassionate towards others.
Or bitter later in life that they had to play second to a special needs sibling.
Or that their mom was always so stressed.
I should be less stressed.
If I was better at keeping the house picked up I'd be less stressed.
If I was more disciplined.
But sweet Jesus it's never ending.
I'm just trying to tread.
She just learned to climb the baby gates we used to keep her out of certain rooms.
You need to teach her not to get into things and make such a mess.
You need to make her help clean it up. (She does.)
You need to embrace this because they're ONLY LITTLE ONCE.
And I'm acutely aware that through it all, I'm grateful that she's overall healthy. Every day I'm aware.

But this shit is just hard. And will probably stay hard for a while. And ALL OF THAT I needed to get out of my head just because...I thought it was nice out and we should go to the park.

How's that for a blog comeback? ;)

Monday, July 9, 2012

Why it's taken me an hour to type a post title...

I sat down to type a 'quick' blog hour ago.  This is how far I've gotten.  Right here.

Between nursing the noob - who is now in her bouncy seat next to me, wildly kicking one leg, sucking her thumb, and generally happy for no reason. :) Getting a glass of water, forgetting said water, starting some laundry, doing a sink full of dishes, and kicking neighborhood kids out 50x (I'm only slightly exaggerating).  Sat down at the computer about 10 times between all of that, and SOMEHOW didn't get very far.  *sigh* we go!

Callie is almost 5 months old.  five. FIIIVVVVEEE.  I know babies grow up fast, but she's really pushin' it.  Yer killin' me smallz.

 Lilly is crazy as ever.  Busy being busy, starting to talk more finally, and generally wearing me out from her antics. ;) 

Zach's finally getting teeth back where they'd fallen out, which is good because I was starting to be concerned about his tooth to gums ratio. (there was another lost a couple days after this)

And now I've been interrupted so many times, I can't even remember what my original blog post was...

I did manage to bust out my serger, THREAD my serger, (thread my serger AGAIN, because for whatever reason, it doesn't work unless I do it in the right order?  Maybe?  I don't know if that's it exactly, but it worked!) and make some baby wipes. Out of flannel that I've had for AT LEAST two years.  Mhmm, cuz I'm that awesome.  Or a procrastinator.  Or a hoarder.  Ok, not a hoarder, our cat is alive.  (ooohhhh, but you know it's true)

I ran to the fabric store today to get terry cloth to make kitchen towels.  And when I say "I", what I mean is "me + 3 kids".  I started with noob in the Ergo (do you have an Ergo? You should get an Ergo.  They're expensive, I know, but if you have more than zero children, you should get one.  Heck, if you're a hoarder with a cat, get one.  I'm not judging.) Lilly in the umbrella stroller, and Zach on his own two feet.  We did ok the first 5 or so minutes.  *I* didn't even wander aimlessly, as I'm prone at a fabric store.  Then I reached up to touch some fabric (as...I'm prone..) and somehow..?... the bolt tipped over, right onto Callie's poor noggin. 

Crappy mom  of the year folks!  Right here!

So, luckily it was light, and really wouldn't have hurt her, aside from the edge of the cardboard caught just right and gave her a tiny scrape.   and she screamed bloody murder :(  I can't blame her, with all of Lilly's "affection" at home, she's managed to come out unscathed, and just chillin at Joann's and gets biffed by some cardboard.  (she's totally and completely fine by the way!) 

While I consoled her (read: nursed in the ergo), Lilly realized she wasn't ACTUALLY buckled into the stroller (rookie mistake) and got out.  But I thought...well, let's try it.  She's been SLIGHTLY better about not bolting every chance she gets.  And she did really well for a few minutes, we walked around and looked at fabrics, she was charming and docile.  And then...she must have sensed that I'd relaxed a bit...and started squealing and dancing/running/giggling away.  Not exactly a streak mind you, but going for it none the less. 

I did coax her back to walking with me...kinda...we found our terry cloth, and after a friendly scolding (?) from the lady at the cutting counter, for her not to sit in the bottom shelf (she was going night-night on some squishy material) grabbed what I wanted, got it cut, and left.

So now that I got interrupted again just neighbor boy threw a dead bird at his brother, who went to tell on him (seems appropriate) told Zach and bird-thrower to go wash their hands NOW.  I'll just end it and try to salvage 10 minutes of quiet before Lilly wakes up and/or they come in AGAIN.

Hopefully next time I'll have pictures of finished projects., on my first day at the funny farm!  it's 50/50.  place your bets now!

. front door just opened.  I think we know where I'm headed.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Recipe Success!

Love when that happens, as more often than doesn't. (user error, usually)

A few days ago I came across this: "Cheesy" chickpea quinoa and spinach

So I thought "that looks good!" and pinned it on Pinterest. (where recipes go to die)  but no!  I actually MADE this one!  I'm officially no longer a Pinterest recipe poser.  ;)

I did tweak our version due to..well...I forgot some stuff at the store.  Happens.  A lot.  But mine did end up looking like this: (crappy cell phone picture mind you)

When my husband saw the recipe, I think he started planning what cereal he'd eat after dinner to replace the dinner he was going to fake eating.  But, he's a trooper so he feigned interest, and even threw out a "looks good" when it was time to eat. 

I'll have you know this got the ever coveted "This is actaully pretty good!" award from Eddie Cupp.  From the guy who'd rather eat ding dongs, bacon and mountain dew, this is high praise!

I did "double" the recipe, and used 5 cups of water + 3 chicken boullion cubes because I'd forgotten vegetable broth.  No onion so I threw in a tsp? of onion powder, a tsp of oregano, a bit of garlic salt, and some spanish paprika because...well I don't like chili powder and it was red.  I know. Weird. But it worked!

I DID manage to get the nutritional yeast, and by golly, it DOES taste kinda cheesy!  I'm impressed.

Of course Zach wasn't a fan of the cooked spinach (just FYI...there is a very fine line between "wilted" and "cooked" I perhaps crossed that line) but I convinced him to take a bite of spinach with the chickpeas/quinoa and he wouldn't taste it.  It worked, amazingly.  

A recipe that is HEALTHY and got a thumbs up from a junk food junkie and 2 kids?  Wonderful! :)

I should probably proof-read this post before I hit 'publish' but wee babe is screaming with dad, so here it is suckers!  Grammar errors and all! (let's face it, I have grammar errors even when I proof-read!)  Go make this! Now!

...ok tomorrow.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Our Gluten-Free Trial

And a trial by fire of sorts.  Long story, involving...well...poop.  But we're trying Lilly (2) on a gluten-free diet for a couple of weeks.  There have been too many conversations in our house as of late about diapers, and realizing it's been MONTHS now, and after calling her dr. and getting IT tested (look ma! no parasites!) I resorted to my ever trusty resource...GOOGLE!  God Bless the interwebs. =P

Essentially, I found nothing "scientific", but did find a handful of message board posts from moms with toddlers with the exact same situation, almost word for word what I'd googled.  Almost all of them...ended up being gluten/wheat related. (a couple were dairy)  Technically, I don't buy into the whole gluten free craze going on right now.  I think it's a marketing gimmick that people have bought into.  I *do* think there could be something to it, that benefits people. But I'm not convinced it's GLUTEN.  Wheat, processing of wheat, GMO crops, the pesticides used on wheat crops?  I dunno, that's my two-bit theory.  But I'm willing to give it a shot, WHATEVER the direct cause might be. 

So will it help?  Who knows, but it can't hurt to try.  Especially when I find recipes like this: Cinnamon Apple Quinoa Parfait  
(minus the oat crumble) thank you pinterest!

...I know, right?

So on that note, if you happen to have any gluten-free recipes that you really like, send 'em my way! 

I'll keep you updated on if it works...without details ;)

Monday, February 27, 2012

I'm Back! ...Again. ...I think.

Oh, hey, hi there!  How's it going?  Kids are in college now?  That long? wow!

Ok, so I'm back, I hope!  I actually got the *most* AWESOME comment in my email today, (here) and it was the best kind of random.  So much so that I checked my statcounter out of curiosity to see where it came from.  In doing that, I saw that my tutorial has been posted "all over" the internet.  And by "all over" I mean "like, 3 or 4 places"  which is A LOT if you're me.  And on pinterest!  #nerdyhappydance 

 I also saw there are a lot of comments I never saw.  Apparently, my email only alerts me to the viagra, porn offers, and foreign language jumbles comments.  ::thumbs up::  So THANK you! to anyone who commented and enjoyed that post!  Had I known, I'd have responded! ;)

At any rate, all of that, along with cleaning up all the viagra links, made me realize HOW. LONG. it's been since old bloggy and I have had a chance to sit down and insult America via my crafting.  (That won't make sense if you didn't follow that link and read the crazy.)  So I fully intend to get back to it, post every week or so, hopefully make something here and there, and quite possibly, be presumptuous whilst doing it! woohoo! :)

I say "I hope" because since we talked last, I made another one of THESE:

husband giving her a once over, approves.
Callista Rose 9lbs3oz (I don't mess around. Deliciously chubby babies are my thang.)  She's two weeks old now, and just woke up FURIOUS that no one is feeding her (as happens when you're 10lbs) So I'm off to do that.  More later!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

So I'm a Slacker

Seriously. I know. Bad blogger. Wait, can I be called a blogger if I haven't blogged in months? hm.

I'd like to say its because of the baby (partially) but it's mostly intimidation. See, it kept coming out that more and more people I know in real life were reading my blog. (and for unknown reasons seemed to actually enjoy it, go figure) but then I got all overly self-conscious, as I'm prone. And then every time I sat down I felt like 100 eyes were on me. And then I walked away. And then my cousin would "gently" reminded me I hadn't blogged in months. Vicious circle.

So here I am. I'm way behind, and instead of making myself crazy trying to compose a post catching you up on the last 7months (which would be info overload, and would lead to me getting overwhelmed and deleting the whole thing...not that I've done that before) Let's just say: you missed out. It's been pretty awesome, my kids are pretty awesome, I made some awesome stuff, I found some awesome yard sale/thrift finds, and maybe a few of the really good ones will end up mentioned eventually.

I really do miss my blog. But I'm tired of being scared of it, so here I am again. Just like I'm hoping to do a craft show this fall, because I'm tired of being scared of that too. Now if I could just be comfortable in public, I'd be awesome. But let's start with blogging again and see where that gets us.

Oh, and just because every post needs a picture of something pretty cool:
a nintendo DS case that looks like an old school nintendo controller? awesome. a friend made it, and it almost makes me want to buy a DS just to have it. it's here

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mother's Day Gift Guide

these are actual links that popped up when I googled "mother's day gift" let's file these under "don't...oh please, please DONNNNN'T"

  • mom's own slot machine! WITH 500 free tokens! show mom you love her with free tokens!
  • $25 best buy gift card here mom, get yourself a CD, and maybe a 20oz pepsi, since $25 won't get you much else at best buy.
  • a poem on a plate this is the cheap plastic plate that she'll hang proudly while the kids are looking. then slowly -over a span of months- move it from the living room, to the spare room, to the basement.
  • "mom" jewelry the ring isn't hideous. I just...I can't....I can't get with "mom" anything. We know she's a mom, those kids that follow her around at the grocery store confirm our suspicions. plus, the whole mass-produced-jewelry-that-every-other-mom-is-wearing thing.
  • its a ...cartoon I don't understand.
  • a lollipop bouquet ok, its candy, I'll give you that. But its crazy pastel lollipops. This is really a gift for your kids, since they'll raid it and she'll let them.

So what DO I get, you ask? allow me...

  • custom silhouettes of the kids traditional and contemporary. and less work than getting them dressed, out the door, and sitting still for a formal photo without one of them hitting each other.
  • hairpins they're cute, the kids can each pick out a pair.
  • a purse or a cute clutch or wallet
  • some nice soap put together a nice soap/lotion/girly skin stuff basket for bonus points.
  • tea and cookies yup, cookies. its the internet man, you can get anything. cookies come to your door, and someone else is cleaning flour off their counters. awesome.
  • if you're going to go for candy get her something she doesn't have to share.
  • kindle I really tried not to like this thing. I like BOOKS, real paper, real ink, BOOKS. Not these dad-gum gizmos. Too many gizmos these days. BUT...then I fiddled with a friends' ...and I do like it (hate when that happens, now I want one) Plus, its nice when she's reading and sets the book down, and a certain 5 year old comes along and closes the book for her. Re-reading 10 pages while you find the place you left off is always fun. Doesn't happen with a kindle.

If you're still going to go for the gift card, at LEAST make sure its to her FAVORITE store. Ya know the one, the store she goes into often, but rarely buys anything. The "I don't understand how anyone could spend that much money on ____" store. Whether its clothes, yarn, hunting gear, a gallery, or the tattoo shop. That's the one.

Just NOT the sweatshirt with "mommy of ___ angels" with each of the kids as a cartoon stick figure with spiky hair. Please no. thankyou.